Hani and Robert...and the other woman!
Pernah ngalamin ada tiga kejadian yang berhubungan banget padahal orang2 di kejadian itu gak kenal satu sama lain dan elo adalah satu2nya yang menghubungkan mereka? Kalimat pertama panjang banget, ya? Tapi that's just it. Itu inti dari postingan gw kali ini.
OK,..demi kemaslahatan umat bersama,..gw butuh 3 nama palsu. Well,...dua aj deh. Satunya pake nama asli aja. Toh dia juga uda terkenal di dunia maya nan palsu ini. I got an idea "A---haaaaaaaaaaaaa" (gambar lampu...Aladin). Kita sebut saja Hani and Roberts. Dan yang terkenal itu adalah si MARISKOVA (amiiiiiiiiiiiit2. LOL).
Gini ceritanya. Gw kasi nomor ya...biar elo sekalian bisa belajar matematika :)
1. Gw kenal Robert and ngerasa enak aj share ma dia. Suatu saat,...gw tau dia ngalamin sesuatu yang bisa dia share ke dunia temen2nya lewat accountnya. Gw tanya lah kok g di share2??? Dia ngebales lewat email:
"Ada beberapa hal yg tidak mau and tidak bs gw sharing ke org2 dan biarlah itu menjadi milik gw seorang." Itu kata dia di email.
2. Hani tiba2 aj telepon gw di suatu sore yang indah saat gw harus keluar beli makan buat kucing temen gw!!!! Dia cerita banyak soal tragedi (dooooh bahasa gw sinetron banget ya?) yang kejadian di keluarganya.
3.. Mariskova menulis postingan terbarunya soal curhat ma temen. Hal2 yang bisa kita curhatin n should ato shouldn'tnya. Disitu gw ada beberapa point yang setuju and g setuju (tentunya). Cek ndiri deh blognya.
Tiga kejadian itu bikin gw mikir abis2an. Capek banget setelah itu. Langsung gw minum 3 botol Pocari, 3 botol Kratingdaeng, 1 plastik es teh dan 1 kaleng bear brand! Yang gw pikirin cuma satu....apa ya yang bakal tiga orang itu omongin ke masing2 kalo mereka didudukin di satu forum informal di planet Jupiter??? Nasehat apa yang akan terlontar ke muka masing2? (lg ngebayangin orang ngebuang aer di ember)
Kalo lo serius baca ketiga profil tokoh utama kita di atas,...mesti si Robert bakal nasehatin si hani untuk gak cerita masalahnya and nyimpen itu buat diri dia sendiri. Kalo Mariskova sarannya kira2 adalah: share,...tapi jangan diumbar semua. Tapi gimana si Hani? Katanya sih dia cerita gw sama nangis2 karena dia gak tau lagi mau cerita sama sapa. Semuanya SIMPLY karena dia gak kuat. Bukannya kalo orang uda g kuat ngadepin masalah biasanya mereka cerita and share masalahnya itu?
Personally, I wouldn't do what Hani dis. It's marriage stuffs, you know. Share ya share,...but not e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. Robert bener juga kan. Ada hal2 yang lebih enak buat diri sendiri--entah itu pait ato manis. Ya kan, Bert? (sok2 interaktif gt blog ini. LOL)
Gw cuma bilang ada yang lebih pantes jadi tempat curhat and tempatnya DI ATAS SANA. Kalo uda,...n kurang curhatnya,...ngeblog aj!!!
Gw cuma bilang ada yang lebih pantes jadi tempat curhat and tempatnya DI ATAS SANA. Kalo uda,...n kurang curhatnya,...ngeblog aj!!!
Anyhow,...the three persons do color my days :)
Posting--Pictures
Pernah napsu pingin banget nge--tach pictures di postingan elo tapi bingung gak nemu yang pas??? Coba aj situs yang namanya PicApp. Situs ini nyediain macem2 gambar. Check aj sapa tau gambar lo ada disana. LOL. Caranya gampang. Gak pake register or whatsoever deh. Tinggal kulanuwun aj ke situsnya and gosok2 lampu and keluarlaaaaaaaaaaaah gua!!!! Ya gak mungkin lah!!! Ntar begitu lo uda masukin kategori pic yang lo cari, banyak banget pilihan muncul. Sumpah (tapi gw g mau pocong!!!!) banyak banget pic nya. Gak mungkin lo g nemu yang cocok buat postingan lo. Kalo emang sampe gak nemu, mendingan fitur "MAKSA" di diri lo lo ilangin dulu. Kelemahan situs ini cuma satu. Gak banyak kok. Cuman satu...tapi parah banget seh hehehehe. Kekurangannya adalah,...setiap gambar ada keterangan nama situsnya. Kayak gak ikhlas ya ngasi picnya. Namanya juga gratis. Tapi kayaknya bisa di download dulu deh. Itu kalo lo tge ngabajak. Kalo lo tetep g mau juga,...bikin aj a pictless posting. Ato lo bubarin aj blog lo. Ato lo gak usah jadi manusia aja!!!! Jadi emosi nih gw!!!! Gw minum dulu aj ya. Daaaa.
Tomorrow Today: The Interview Part 1
The Interview
“Messing up with my DNA, huh?” I asked myself that question this morning when I woke up. I was still not sure about trying another gadgets but I didn’t really want to care about it much. I would rather get up, take a bath and be ready for the world. Today I had to deal with a person whose DNA must have been broken. That man was the feelingless man ever alive—my boss!
I entered a tall building. It was 35-story high. The taller the building, the more tiring it would be for the employees incase of fire drill. Well, I had mine last week right in this building where I work and it was terrible.
I work for a headhunter company. I conduct some initial interviews assessing candidates for positions they apply in companies that become my clients. Since I got this job, I felt that I did not really miss a lot of Saturday Night Live shows.
There was this one girl that I remember until now. Her name is Jean something. She had me and Andrea as the interviewer. We were asking her availability on working according to our client’s expectation.
“So, have you done something outside the demand of your previous company?” I asked.
She put on a dumb face.
“What do you mean?”
“Working overtime, perharps?”
“No.”
“No...?” I was expecting that she elaborate her answer with explanations but she didn’t.
“Well,...let’s say that the company had a project that was beyond your working schedule.”
“Well,...I have this standard in working. It’s my body.”
Being a feminist, Andrea was shocked. She took over my question.
“What do you mean?”
“Well,... if I am tired, I will stop working no matter what.” The interviwee said.
“What do you mean?” Andrea was definately irritated since the answer was going to give all the women in the world a bad name.
“I meant... that, I guess.”
“Can you give us a situation maybe?”
“Mmm... I was working in a group with my friend doing a project. We planned to do it until six. And it turned out that the project was not yet finished until six. They wanted to go on longer but I told them that I was tired and needed to stop working.”
“And then what happened?”
“I stopped working.” She sort of thinking that Andrea was asking a stupid question to her.
“That’s it? How about your friends?”
“Well,... they seemed irritated but hey, my body said no for overtime.”
Andrea did not ask further questions and that meant only one—she was not going to promote the girl for the next interview. I was right! I was laughing outloud many times with my fellow co-workers when telling about that while Andrea got totally sick of her for not showing female equity professionally.
One thing got me thinking, though. Will she change if she were even given an opportunity to be better? When I told Jeff about it over lunch, he was just smiling and said:
“People don’t change, Na.”
“How do you know?”
“Coz DNA doesn’t!”
“Here we go again with another DNA talk. You mess up with DNA, though. It can only mean one thing—people CAN change.”
“You see, Na, the gadgets are working only temporarily. Tomorrow Today Inc. hasn’t found a method to lengthen the function of those gadgets.”
“That’s your next homework, I guess. My homework was only one for last night. I had to review a candidate’s profile. He was applying for a managerial position in a very high profile company. Gotta make sure that he was not aiming for the knowledge only. The company needs the fidelity! Hard to check, I must say.”
“Need a lie detector?”
“Yeah, right! Bringing a lie detector machine would be nice in every interwies we do!”
“I was talking about Tomorrow Today Inc. Here and Now!”
It kinda tickled me if Jeff says the tagline of the company. But I did think that he had something to offer.
“What is it?”
“Well,... it is not exactly a lie detector but it helps though.”
“How?”
“Well,...you see, when you lie, there are some body languages that come out subsconciously. The gadget called Honestick helps strengthen the process.”
“C’mon, I have been in this business like for years by now. I know when people lie.”
“Well, Na,... I have been with TT for five years, I was offered to be a Director of the Research Departement you know and I...”
“What? You were offered that position?”
“No! Na, I was just lying to you.. You did not seem to notice.”
Shit! Jeff got me. He got me good!
“You got me!”
“I got you!”
“Now, tell me, how would you differentiate the body language of a nervous person, in an interview, and of lying? We get nervous when we lie, right?”
“True! You are smart, Na. But we are smarter. TT here and now does not play around with its babies, Na.”
Babies? Jeff is sick!
“We conducted researches and came up with some facts that when people lie, they tend to answer too fast, too long, make a slight movement that was not part of the regular movement they usually do. And Honestick strengthen the signs.”
Do I really have to believe this guy again?
“Meet me home tonight and I will let you try the Honestick.”
Would I drive him home and get this little gadget that to use in my next interview?
-Je-
Lost and Not Found--Heeeeeeeeeeelp!
Di sebuah bagian blog ini ada tulisan "BLOGS I GO TO WHEN I WANT TO...". Itu adalah blog2 yang gw uber karena beberapa alasan. Coba deh lo klik yang terakhir--yang ada kalimat "know about Indonesian's blogs". Itu linknya si Enda yang dinobatin jadi Bapak Blogger Indonesia. Hebat euy!
And kenapa gw nyebut namanya? Karena waktu gw cek blognya, ada satu postingan yang bikin gw penasaran. Disitu dia ngasi link sebuah jurnal yang muat artikel 50 signs You're an Indonesian Blogger. Gw klik deh linknya. Eeeee gak ada. Bete. Kan gw penasaran banget. Yang misterius (serasa ada Agatha Christi lagi masak di dapur) ada beberapa comments disana. Berarti kan itu link sempat menghirup udara bebas dalam beberapa saat. Tapi,...kemanakah dia Bapa? Oh,...
Kalo kayak gitu trus udahan,...bukan Je namanya. Nge-google lah gw. Dan tau g, gw kesasaaaaaaaaaaaaar kemana2 tapi teteeeeeeeeeeeep g nemuin itu artikel. Gw ditemuin tim SAR and akhirnya gw ke kantor polisi trus diinterogasi. Ditanyainlah gw:
"Apa alasan anda nyari2 itu postingan?"
Gw jawab dengan sedikit kejujuran:
"Saya pingin ngecek apa saya memenuhi standard ISO blogger Indonesia."
"Terus,...kalo tidak gimana?"
"Ya,...saya akan berusaha mati2an jual harta benda dan raga biar bisa memenuhi standard, pak."
"Kalo iya?"
"Ya bangga dong , pak."
"Kalo begitu mendinan anda saya penjara aja biar g bisa nyoba nyari2 itu postingan lagi."
"Tapi,..." Kameranya ngezoom ke gw "Kenapa, pak? Apa salah saya?"
"Salah anda adalah kamu melakukan sesuatu yang lebih banyak mudzaratnya daripada manfaatnya. Kalo gak nemu anda akan jual diri. Kalo nemu anda akan sombong. Percayalah,...saya memenjarakan anda demi kebaikan diri anda sendiri."
"Ini tidak adil. Saya mau naik banding!!!!"
"Banding lagi mudik!!!! Masuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk!!!!"
Dan gw didorong ke dalam penjara. Dengan pose kriminal putus asa,...gw berdiri megangin jeruji penjara sambil nangis2 and bilang...
"All I want is to read that post."
So,...buat elo2 semua yang masih di luar penjara keingintauan,..please cari and kasi tau gw apa isi artikel itu.
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PS: Gw masih sempat teriak ke si polisi yang jalan ninggalin gw dari penjara
"Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak,...password wi-fi nya apaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?"
And kenapa gw nyebut namanya? Karena waktu gw cek blognya, ada satu postingan yang bikin gw penasaran. Disitu dia ngasi link sebuah jurnal yang muat artikel 50 signs You're an Indonesian Blogger. Gw klik deh linknya. Eeeee gak ada. Bete. Kan gw penasaran banget. Yang misterius (serasa ada Agatha Christi lagi masak di dapur) ada beberapa comments disana. Berarti kan itu link sempat menghirup udara bebas dalam beberapa saat. Tapi,...kemanakah dia Bapa? Oh,...
Kalo kayak gitu trus udahan,...bukan Je namanya. Nge-google lah gw. Dan tau g, gw kesasaaaaaaaaaaaaar kemana2 tapi teteeeeeeeeeeeep g nemuin itu artikel. Gw ditemuin tim SAR and akhirnya gw ke kantor polisi trus diinterogasi. Ditanyainlah gw:
"Apa alasan anda nyari2 itu postingan?"
Gw jawab dengan sedikit kejujuran:
"Saya pingin ngecek apa saya memenuhi standard ISO blogger Indonesia."
"Terus,...kalo tidak gimana?"
"Ya,...saya akan berusaha mati2an jual harta benda dan raga biar bisa memenuhi standard, pak."
"Kalo iya?"
"Ya bangga dong , pak."
"Kalo begitu mendinan anda saya penjara aja biar g bisa nyoba nyari2 itu postingan lagi."
"Tapi,..." Kameranya ngezoom ke gw "Kenapa, pak? Apa salah saya?"
"Salah anda adalah kamu melakukan sesuatu yang lebih banyak mudzaratnya daripada manfaatnya. Kalo gak nemu anda akan jual diri. Kalo nemu anda akan sombong. Percayalah,...saya memenjarakan anda demi kebaikan diri anda sendiri."
"Ini tidak adil. Saya mau naik banding!!!!"
"Banding lagi mudik!!!! Masuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk!!!!"
Dan gw didorong ke dalam penjara. Dengan pose kriminal putus asa,...gw berdiri megangin jeruji penjara sambil nangis2 and bilang...
"All I want is to read that post."
So,...buat elo2 semua yang masih di luar penjara keingintauan,..please cari and kasi tau gw apa isi artikel itu.
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PS: Gw masih sempat teriak ke si polisi yang jalan ninggalin gw dari penjara
"Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak,...password wi-fi nya apaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?"
Blog signature
Buat lo yang demen ngutak-ngatik blog,... kayaknya lo mesti coba situs yang satu ini. Klik aj gambar di atas. Blog ini nawarin lumayan banyak kerjaan buat blogger yang g ada kerjaan. Free pula loh!!!! (mesti deh pada nge-click). But wait,...baca dulu postingan gw ya.
Salah satu yang bikin gw impressed banget ma blog ini adalah the fact that this blog ngasi link ke sebuah situs yang nyediain jasa tanda tangan online. Keren deh. Tinggal maen2 ma mouse ato touch pad,..jadi deh tanda tangan kita yang bisa kita paste ke setiap postingan kita di blog. Contohnya ada di bawah ini nih.
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Nah,...kalo dah liat contohnya,...baru lo click gambar di atas tadi ya. Have fun!
Bolivia--Circus--Animals
Walaupun sekali dalam (mungkin) setaun gw nonton TVRI, ternyata bisa juga TVRI ngehadirin berita yang lumayan gimanaaaa gt. Pagi ino gw denger dari TVRI kalo Bolivia--negara sono no...uda jadi negara pertama di dunia yang ngelarang penggunaan hewan untuk sirkus. Deeeeeeeeeeeng!!!
Waktu pertama kali gw denger berita itu, gw langsung coba untuk identifikasi perasaan dan hasilnya adalah...shock! Trus am I happy? Sad? Nah, itu yang gw bingung. On one side, kalo lo liat track record gw soal hewan peliaraan, gw pernah punya dua ayam kate--lucu banget--and dua pasang kelinci--lucuuuuuuuuuuuuuu banget. Dan sebagai orang (gw orang loh!!!) yang suka hewan, bener juga sih kalo hewan di sirkus itu emang sian banget. Masak dijadiin tontonan manusia2 kayak kita (gw anggep lo manusia juga deh. LOL). Mereka harus ngeloncatin api lah, naek sepeda satu roda lah, renang2 kesana kemari sambil terus mencet bel, lah. Sian gak seh mereka?
Now, the other side. Mungkin gak seh kalo di dunia hewan itu emang ada "pekerjaan" yang harus dilakuin mereka kayak kita2 ini. Bangun pagi, mandi, sarapan, ngerokok (susunannya bisa diubah-ubah ya) and terus pake make-up, baju, dasi and kerja deh. Saat ini gw ngebayangin singa2 and beruang2 yang lagi nge-hairdye bulu2 mereka. LOL. Kalo emang gitu adanya, sian juga dong para hewan2 itu jadi jobless. And kalo emang yang di sirkus itu hewan2 narcis,...gimana mereka mau exist? Gimana mereka mau menyalurkan hasratnya untuk tampil and dikagumin? Dooooooh...
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Pertanyaan gw selanjutnya adalah apa negara2 lain bakal nurutin Bolivia? Apa di Indonesia nt anak2 juga g bisa liat hewan2 di sirkus. Dan mungkin pertanyaan yang paling mendasar (gileeeeeeeeeeee bahasa gw g kuaaaaaaaaaat) adalah,...emang masih ada orang nonton sirkus? Masih ada anak2 yang ngerengek ke bonyoknya minta diajakin nonton sirkus? Bukannya sekarang2 mereka ngerengek2 dibeliin PSP? Ato ada gak seh game circus di PSP? Pusing gw deh mikirin hewan2 itu. Ya sian ya seneng juga.
Oia, ini ada satu situs yang ngomongin soal itu lebih heboh daripada gw :) Click aj di CLICK
Oia, ini ada satu situs yang ngomongin soal itu lebih heboh daripada gw :) Click aj di CLICK
Google Chrome
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Secara pribadi dan itung2an kasar, gw uda ngebandingin kecepatan browser2 dengan provider internet yang sama. Cepet loh browser yang satu ini.
Fasilitas2 yang ada di browser2 laen juga ada di browser ini. Feature yang paling gw demen adalah INCOGNITO WINDOW. Fitur ini bisa jadi "pengaman" buat kita2 yang hobi banget surfing yang gitu2an (kitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? gw aja kaleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee yang ngaku. yang laen nggak!!!!). Browse aj seenak udel kita masing2 and terus tinggal di close. G perlu khawatir ada jejak2 yang menakjubkan yang mungkin bisa ditemuin orang2 yang sempat pake laptop kita. Kalo di Internet Explorer, ngehapus historynya harus manual kn? Di mozilla juga kan? Kalo di GC, lo bebas deh g perlu repot2 gitu2an segala :)
Yang lain yang gw demen dari GC adalah user interfacenya yang simple and kesannya bersih aj...kayak gw (uda g usa protes! Baca aj terus postingannya!).
Malem ini gw kaget and surprised banget waktu nemuin kalo GC juga nyedianin themes buat browsernya. Keren kan? Lo bias personalized browser lo sesuai ama kepribadian lo yang buruk2. Hihihihi. Kayak ganti casing lah. Coba,....browser mana yang bisa kayak gitu??? Ngaku!
Kalo lo gak percaya,...cobain deh download brosernya. Klik disini deh....Goggle Chrome. Nah,...kalo uda, pilih themesnya. Click disini ya....Goggle Chrome Themes. Kalo gw sih pake yang GLOW. Kalo lo suka yang mana?
Oia,...gw g dibayar sepeser dua peser (tiga ato lebih peser juga nggak) buat nulis kayak ginian. Gw cuma pingin share aj. Sebagai tambahan,...gosipnya, blog gw keliatan lebih keren kalo di cek lewat Goggle Chrome. Mau bukti? Coba aja!
Salam GC!!!! (OK,...kalimat yang terakhir ini emang garing banget!!!) LOL.
THIS IS IT
Gw uda ngebayagin aj yang dateng mesti banyak yang pake atribut Jco. Kalo gw misalnya dateng, paling gw cuma pake topinya secara g ada bajunya Jco yang seukuran gw kaleeeee. LOL.
Coba deh klik gambarnya Jco yang lagi merenung itu :)
Going back to Surabaya
PART IV
Banyak banget yang mau gw ceritain soal pulang Surabaya. Hehehe. But I got this eye-opener one. Gw ketemu sodara gw yang magically belum pernah ketemu sebelumnya. Sebut saja Mr. B. Dia ini penampilannya sederhana. G ada unsur2 and senyawa2 kaya yang keliatan. Umurnya uda 45 taksiran gw. Ya kurang lebih dikit lah, Namanya juga sodara and langganan pula :). Dibilang cakep kagak juga. Cuman dia tipe yang kalo orang liat tu jadi pingin liat lagi. Karismatik banget. Apalagi cara bicaranya yang terkesan tau banget di bidangnya.
Bidangnya adalah jual beli batik. Dia lagi tuker cerita sama sodara ipar gw yang juga jual beli batik (apa cuma gw di keluarga gw yang jual beli manusia, ya????) soal pengalamannya jual batik selama H-3 sampe H! Banyak sekali yang gw pelajari dari hasil nguping gw tanpa ngerasa di guruin. (Ya iyelaaaaaaaaaaaaah secara gw nguping, bukan sekolah!!!) Salah satu yang gw pelajari adalah ati2 kalo lo punya stand di pasar. Anw, masih inget soal kebakaran di Pasar Turi Surabaya? Nah,..setelah peristiwa itu ada yang disebut Kartu Hijau (waktu itu dipikiran gw adalah tentang para pedagang yag mau ke luar negeri. Hehehe. Gw salah--wat's new???). Kartu itu adalah istilah yang digunakan pengelola pasar--yang gw g tau juga jelas pihak mana--yang ngejula "tempat" untuk pasar baru. Ada yabg ngejual sampe 60 jeti!!! Kalo lo kaget sampe sesek napas, jangan dulu. Yang perlu lo kagetin sampe sesek napas adalah.....ADA YANG MAU BELIII!!! (silahkan sesek napas after the count of 3...1, 2, 3...ENJOY!)
Nah,....kan ternyata Pasar Turi kebarakan lagi--sounds like a hobby?? And ada kasus kartu hijau lagi. Tapi kali ini curang banget. Jadi gini....(mode sok tau) Para penjual ditawarin beli kartu itu dengan harga mahal dengan alesan mereka bakal bisa milih tempat buat pasar yang baru. Mereka emang bisa milih tempat sih,....tapi masalahnya tempat2 yang mereka pilih itu tempat2 yang nggak strategis. Walhasil ( Gileeee gw pake kata "Walhasil") banyak yang komplen tapi kan ya uda kejadian. Mau gimana lagi.... There goes millions for nothing.
Yang gw pelajari lagi dari sodara gw Mr. B adalah taktik usahanya. Jadi gini...di beberapa negeri di awan, lahirlah orang2 yang bisa usaha bikin batik. Batik2 itu dibentuk sedemikian rupa menjadi daster n baju2 yang g jelas lainnya,. Dari negeri itu, lahirlah sebuah kasta yang disebut SALES. Mereka pergi kemana2 nawarin pedagang untuk ngejual batik2 itu. Dan para penjual bersaing keras menjual demi mendapatkan setumpuk emas. Sartu sales bisa ngedatangin banyak banget penjual. Mereka biasanya "mainin" para penjual dengan ilmu brainwash mereka:
"Barang ini bagus loh. Tuh semua penjual di lantai ini pada ngambil and pada laris."
Kalo ada yang ngomong gt ke Mr. B, dia malah g mau ngambil. Dia bilang:
"O ya uda, bagus lah kalo sudah banyak yang ngambil. Kita nggak dulu, ya."
Dasar pikirannya adalah product specialization. Keren banget. Mungkin buat orang2 dan hewan2 yang baca ini uda pada tau soal prinsip itu, gw sendiri si tau, cuma gw g nyangka jualan batik itu seserius itu!!!! Gileeee!
Trus trus,...(kayak ngegosip aj ya. LOL) si Mr. B juga komplen ke salah seorang pembuat batik di negeri di awan. Dia cerita kalo ada orang di Surabaya yang tau kalo Mr. B itu ngambil batiknya di Mr. A. Eeee tau2 si orang itu pergi langsung ke Mr. A and beli disana. Yang bikin dia bete adalah, Si Mr. A mau juga ngejual batiknya ke orang itu.
"Itu kan namanya ngancurin pasaran gua. Harusnya Mr. A tanya dulu itu orang dari mana. Begitu dia jawab dari Surabaya, harusnya Mr. A bilang kalo mending si orang itu belinya di Surabaya aj ama Mr. B."
Terus gw mikir ( i kno,..i kno,...gw bisa mikir. Miracles DO happen, ok!) bener juga ya Mr. B. Kita bener2 harus mikir banyak hal itu lebih dari sekedar urusan uang. (Anw,...kalo lo baca blog ini and lo punya utang ma gw,...balikin ya!!!! LOL)
Wah,...Mr. B hebat banget di mata gw. Anw,...gw jadi pingin dagang batik juga. Mau gw bikin YOU CAN SEE dengan motif batik. LOL. Mungkin nt mau gw bikin juga celana dalem batik yang pasti ada kantongnya. LOL. Siap2 buat nyimpen yang begituan. Nt lo2 pada beli ya...in the name of KINKINESS! LOL.
Seru deh balik Surabaya ini :) Hows your Lebaran, anw?
Going back to Surabaya
PART III
How come there are no books discussing a pregnant sister? There are abundant on such books for husbands,..for parents,..but none for brothers! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
OK,…here is the thing. My sister is getting pregnant and I am making it a national issue. I believe meetings should be held. Articles governing the dos and the don’ts should be made. Military forces should be assembled. Emergency units should be trained and well-trained they should be! Chefs from the greatest restaurants should be called on upon request of a bowl of instant noodle! And the priests of the common beliefs should be summoned for preaches on patience. LOL.
The lost of the previous put everyone’s head down into mourning times that time. That’s why everyone is just so happy on this next attempt--so happy with the not-yet-born child that each of us turn into that ourselves. LOL.
My Mom spent her money building a special place for the upcoming baby in the living room. No, it’s not a comfortable and soft bed. It’s a long wooden bed!
“I want guests to be able to access the baby viewing pleasures. They can just enjoy the spectacles when we lay the baby there with a colorful bed and pillows and bolsters and dolls and…”
Suddenly I imagined a car showroom…
“I want a bowl of instant noodle.” A squeaking baby voice was out so loud and high. It’s my sister’s.
“I want you to make it for me.” Excessive information.
“Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?” As sqeaky as I could.
And Super Chef Je went to the kitchen to mix the poison for a smile on her sister’s face.
“Thanks, Je. It’s the baby.”
And the judges will see the baby as a good alibi for all the crimes!
“Objection!!!”
“And so everyone is but overruled!”
“Je,..do you want to see how Dania looks like this old?” The containing sister—my sister container.
“Yeah, sure…bring it on!” Je—not sure of what he was going to see but is still stupidly on with the game.
“Looook!!!” The sister container happily showed him a magazine entitled:
“INDAHNYA MASA KEHAMILAN” Translation: “THE BEAUTY OF PREGNANCY”
I saw a picture of a drawing—a woman with the x-rayed belly and that thing that was supposed to be Dania’s kind. But there was a distracter, really. That women,…she was naked!!!! And my sister was standing behind me waiting for my ere..I mean,…reaction over the picture???????????? Kakakakakakakakakak.
I am extremely happy about this baby, you know. I even already have a special name for it. I will call her Dania—meaning fruit for harvest in Arabic. I told the parents:
“I don’t really care what name you give to the baby girl. I will still call her Dania.”
And when I stayed here on the first day, my sister in Semarang gave us a call confirming that she has been containing for the last three months!!!!!!!! W-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-W!!!
A little this a little that. A big this a big that (I was talking about my two sister containers) make it a lovely Ramadhan for us J
Going back to Surabaya
PART II
I have to admit that there is something about being at home that makes me je—the child again. The je who eats a lot regardless the non-existance of hunger and the great presence of fat around the belly. Unlike in Jakarta where I practically live alone, eating much after fasting does not seem to be a pain for my stomach here in Surabaya. I just don’t know hoe that can happen. I guess I have to turn to Coelho’s The Devil and Ms Prym saying “Control is the key.”
I did take hold of this. My bones were feeling weak due to less exercise I do here. I decided to go out to Plaza Suarabaya one night only to get my body moved. I went there fell in love with a BOSS. The trousers were great, you see. I tried them on and....I regretted having been slimmer. The number 38 was loose on me. The thing was that there were no other numbers smaller than the combination of 3 and 8. And so I was desperate.
In my despair, an angel whispered to my ears: “HooooooooooooooooooY! Try Tunjungan Plaza!”. I followed the blur advice. I went out the Plaza Surabaya and stopped a while. I lit my cigarrette and said to myself
“Yup! I’ll walk!”
And walk I did! It took around half an hour walking like a model from Plaza Surabaya to Tunjungan Plaza in search of THIIII BOSS! Arriving there, I pass this internet cafe provided by SPEEDY that had been there all along, actually. I had never visited that place until I moved to Jakarta. I mean,..I didn’t have any laptop back then. But wait!!!! I do now!!!
In the name of revenge,..... I went to the cafe and opened my notebook gracefully as if there were marching bands along with the opening lid! (Hihihihi...exaggerating as always in appreciating myself from what I have now that I din’t use to J)Anyway, I stayed there for nearly two hours and yes,….I forgot the BOSS. LOL. Maybe next time.
You see,.. I never let go one that I want when I see it!!!
Going back to Surabaya
PART 1
Just like the majority of people in Jakarta, we all leave this city to go back to our home during Lebaran. I did, too. And I got these things...
My flight was on the 16th of September at around three. I managed to get to the airport in time to do all the checking in and stuff. I didn’t have the chance to hunt for books in PERIPLUS—my fav bookstore at the airport, though.
Anw,...I was half way to sleep on the plane when suddenly I felt a strong and I meant,....STRONG impact on the plane that made me open my eyes only to find that my plane landed already. Goooosh!!! After I did what a man's gotta do after flight--taking a pee :)--I went out to get home. There were several buses waiting for me and some men hailing at me. Am I that populer??? No!!! They just wanted to get me on to the bus. That's all. And so I did. I spent Rp.15.000 to go to the bus station and continued my trip back home. A lot different from what usually happens in Jakarta--with Rp. 20.000 I could go home directly. At that time I really wanted to take a taxi so I could get some comfort. However,...a voice of a woman in the past appeared to me out of the darkness like a female ginny with all the smoke!!!!
"You are still young, young man! Take a bus instead!"
"And who are you?" I asked.
"I am the goddes of stinginess!"
"Oh,...no wonder." I replied.
I followed her advice. I took a bus and maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan that bus was SMELLY--as in Goeslow! But that bus taught me a life lesson. It opened my eyes wide on the truths I have been forgetting.
Two girls in their teen age came inside the bus with a guitar. They were bus singers. They complained to the co-driver about the Lebaran rate.
"Why does it have to be Rp. 4.000?" Girl A
"Yeah. No change for the passengers to give to us." Girl B.
"Yeah,...you are all be DEAD!" Co-driver.
"Damn you!" Girl A
"Yeah,...damn you!" Girl B
That co-driver was double damned, I guess.
"Well,...who knows that the passengers will give us Rp. 1000" Girl A was very optimistic.
"Impossible." Co-driver.
"You never know!" Girl B.
And so they sang songs that I couldn't hear coz I was at the backseat. Girl B was distributing envelopes to each passenger. I got one, too. I was a bit confused coz there were writings at the back of the envelope. The writing went:
"Kami bukan pengemis. Kami hanya menyanyi di bis untuk biaya sekolah dan membantu orang tua kami. Mohon Bapak dan Ibu membantu kami."
Translation:
"We are not beggars. We just some singers singing in this bus to get some money for our school and for helping our parents. Please help us."
There you go. I almost burst into tears. I imagined they were writing the same words on many envelopes for each passengers. We gotta appreciate efforts, right? I decided to slip some money from my change and felt good about it. I didn't really care if they really used it for their school fee or not. After all, it's the intention that matters, right? I am just happy that I took a bus instead of taxi :)
Hole in Rat!
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Yuuuuuuuuuuccccccckkkk! I just stepped in a bathroom and I saw a totally B-I-G rat as big as a local rat can be entered "THE TIME CAPSULE". Yuuuuuuuuuuuck!!! The rat just dived in real slow like it was a normal thing. Well,...maybe it is for their kind, but not for our kind! It was kinda shocking experience for me. I haven't seen rats for yeaaaaaars! And I just saw it L-I-V-E before my very two awesome eyes! What a view!!!Anw after that I tried to google BIG RAT and I was stranded to a blog especially dedicated to RATS! Gooooosh!!! The contents are interesting, though. Prove it that I am right. Click the CLICK!
Holidays with Coelho
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What's new for Lebaran
So,...what's new for Lebaran? Clothes? Pants? Jeans? Shorts? Lovers? LOL. For me,...it's this blog. Hope you enjoy the new layout :) Happy Ied Fitr and let's forgive each other's misguided acts for a purer heart, soul and a new life :) Have a nice holiday.
Turkish Dance
I was visiting one famous mall in southern Jakarta--Pacific Place--when I came across a show they were putting on in commamerating Ramadhan--Fasting Month.
I entered the mall and the mall greeted me with the sound of Arabian music. Few steps later, I found five men wearing whites and Head Cap and sitting down not doing anything but breathing.
The music then started to go with faster beats and they stood up and made the in-trance-movement as if no one else were there watching and taking photographs of them.
They went on and went on and got faster as the beat did. Flashes were there and often and they were the stars!!! I took a video shot but not too well since I had to gather with my friends for the break of the fast. It was a great experience, though.
My friends and I always think that the particular dance comes from Turkey. Is that so? I am not sure myself. So, if you happen to know where it comes from and the philosophy behind it, please share :).
I entered the mall and the mall greeted me with the sound of Arabian music. Few steps later, I found five men wearing whites and Head Cap and sitting down not doing anything but breathing.
The music then started to go with faster beats and they stood up and made the in-trance-movement as if no one else were there watching and taking photographs of them.
They went on and went on and got faster as the beat did. Flashes were there and often and they were the stars!!! I took a video shot but not too well since I had to gather with my friends for the break of the fast. It was a great experience, though.
My friends and I always think that the particular dance comes from Turkey. Is that so? I am not sure myself. So, if you happen to know where it comes from and the philosophy behind it, please share :).
The SIgn
What would you think if you come across the following sign in a parking lot of a mall???
Translation: Female Drivers Only
Translation: Female Drivers Only
Another cool site!
If you follow the link, especially on page 1, you will find a fact about playing cards. It goes like this:
The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card! Now, I got a similar story to that.
When I was small (i kno,..i kno,..unbelievable, right? LOL), I had two sets of playing cards. I jumbled them together to play tarrotian that time. Then I started to notice that two of the Queen of Clubs are the only kingdom members that face the opposite direction compared to others!!!
That fact led me to write a story about how those queens destroy their kingdom due to a simple disagreement. How cool was that!!! Hihihi. It didn't go any cooler though since I did not continue the story and actually I do not know why I didn't... Oh well..
Tell you what, guys. Check out your playing cards one by one (don't you dare tell me that you don't have any. LOL) and find strange things in them. Who knows you can come up with an idea to write a story about:)
Superblogger!
Guys,... I found this very cool blog about super heroes. Here's the link...click here. This website contains characters that we see on films.
It got me into thinking. How come there is no such characters representing blog? Well, the blog that I link above uses the name: SUPERBLOG. Maybe there should be SUPERBLOGGER. It's just a thought :)
And here's another thought...would it be nice if we come up with super characters with super ability and super tragic and demonic and traumatic lives? Hahahahaha. Let me think about what I would be. For a start,...I have the name "Super Je" already. That's nice,...according to me. LOL.
Costumes! I want no mask. I feel OK with pimples and I do wana show my beard off to the world. LOL. And I wana wear tights!!! That's what superheroes are all about, right? Even when CUT BRAY rocked!!! LOL. I do need robe. Gotta fly high and see things in a wider inch. And besides, would be nice if I do not only talk about the stars, the moon and the skies to someone without taking that person be around them :) I think a kiss or two or more on the higher ground is sexy.
Ability. Well,... the standard ability would be super strength, right? As long as I get both..super strength and flying ability, I don't mind :) Well, maybe extra clear visibility so that I cant take off my glasses. But, wait,...I like wearing glasses. Well, OK, the glasses stay!
The romance. Gotta have a love story, right? The thing is,...most superheroes whose love stories publicly exposed deal with love triangle and mystery love and all that. I don't want that. I want someone I can visit regularly on Sat nights. Gotta let it out and get it off, right? LOL. I am no saint super hero. No over publicity, though. Just quite a few photographs of us holding hands and me stealing kisses :).
Partners in crime or I should say in good? Naaa...not opening vacancy. When it comes to saving the world, I am a one man show hero.
Vehicles...no need. I fly. No engine no carosine needed. I am a pollution-free character. Earth-friendly one :). I am recycled???? Noooooooooooo!
Weapon. Even as a child, I have been confused of choosing my fav super heroes. I loved Mandrake the magician who need not be in close contact just to beat a guy. However, indeed it's a fun experience fighting raw like THE THING in Fantastic 4. But I think I wana have a weapon that I can use for close encounter or far ones. What would it be? I was thinking of a chain, actually. I find metal cool...especially on human bodies. I was thinking of a necklace I can wear that I can also use as a weapon in fights :) It's expandable, I guess. Hehehe. It's like the macho version of a whip. Hihihihi (Wait,...I am superhero! I cannot laugh "Hihihihihihi." Should a super hero have a certain way of laughing? Wuuuuiiih,...that complicated. Maybe a super hero should go to JRP, first. LOL).
Well,...a dream is always nice to write. Now the last thing I need would be a sentence as my trade mark. Mmmmm.... that I don't know yet. Hehehehe.
Now,...what have been the super hero image of you that you have since the first time you read this posting? :)
It got me into thinking. How come there is no such characters representing blog? Well, the blog that I link above uses the name: SUPERBLOG. Maybe there should be SUPERBLOGGER. It's just a thought :)
And here's another thought...would it be nice if we come up with super characters with super ability and super tragic and demonic and traumatic lives? Hahahahaha. Let me think about what I would be. For a start,...I have the name "Super Je" already. That's nice,...according to me. LOL.
Costumes! I want no mask. I feel OK with pimples and I do wana show my beard off to the world. LOL. And I wana wear tights!!! That's what superheroes are all about, right? Even when CUT BRAY rocked!!! LOL. I do need robe. Gotta fly high and see things in a wider inch. And besides, would be nice if I do not only talk about the stars, the moon and the skies to someone without taking that person be around them :) I think a kiss or two or more on the higher ground is sexy.
Ability. Well,... the standard ability would be super strength, right? As long as I get both..super strength and flying ability, I don't mind :) Well, maybe extra clear visibility so that I cant take off my glasses. But, wait,...I like wearing glasses. Well, OK, the glasses stay!
The romance. Gotta have a love story, right? The thing is,...most superheroes whose love stories publicly exposed deal with love triangle and mystery love and all that. I don't want that. I want someone I can visit regularly on Sat nights. Gotta let it out and get it off, right? LOL. I am no saint super hero. No over publicity, though. Just quite a few photographs of us holding hands and me stealing kisses :).
Partners in crime or I should say in good? Naaa...not opening vacancy. When it comes to saving the world, I am a one man show hero.
Vehicles...no need. I fly. No engine no carosine needed. I am a pollution-free character. Earth-friendly one :). I am recycled???? Noooooooooooo!
Weapon. Even as a child, I have been confused of choosing my fav super heroes. I loved Mandrake the magician who need not be in close contact just to beat a guy. However, indeed it's a fun experience fighting raw like THE THING in Fantastic 4. But I think I wana have a weapon that I can use for close encounter or far ones. What would it be? I was thinking of a chain, actually. I find metal cool...especially on human bodies. I was thinking of a necklace I can wear that I can also use as a weapon in fights :) It's expandable, I guess. Hehehe. It's like the macho version of a whip. Hihihihi (Wait,...I am superhero! I cannot laugh "Hihihihihihi." Should a super hero have a certain way of laughing? Wuuuuiiih,...that complicated. Maybe a super hero should go to JRP, first. LOL).
Well,...a dream is always nice to write. Now the last thing I need would be a sentence as my trade mark. Mmmmm.... that I don't know yet. Hehehehe.
Now,...what have been the super hero image of you that you have since the first time you read this posting? :)
Learned about Idol Factor on the weekend
I just woke up and didn't know what to do. Suddenly I realized that I had a notebook and a pretty good internet modem and got connected to the world.
Since it's Saturday, I just wana have fun and develop my individuallism. Didn't wana get involved with online interaction with people who may cause problems at all. So I decided to go to the music site I use as a reference of latest and hippiest song...BILLBOARD. Got some great songs to listen.
I enjoyed the number one song, of course. BLACK EYED PEAS' FEELING is very nice to listen. Kinda song that makes you nod and nod and project urself on a dance floor...if u kno wat I mean :). Another song is also cool although the lyrics are sooooo boyband :). Check out Jay Sean with Lil Wayne on DOWN.
Anw,...there was a caption on checking the original version before tuning in to the SPOOF one. So I clicked the link but it says that Ms. SHAKIRA's video kinda feel upset being played in your country at the moment. LOL.
I scrolled a bit down on the screen to check out the comments made by people browing on this site. Most of them cursed YOUTUBE for not being able to solve the copyright stuff.
I do mind that YOUTUBE got this issue. But I should say that I don't mind that it does for the particular song. I mean,...we all know SHAKIRA, right? She's like...somebody our mother would be jealous of. She has great songs and nothing but great ones...until NOW!!! The song sucks. The comments on YOUTUBE say the same. Something is touching though. There was one comment saying that (more or less)
"Many artists and singers did a bad video during their career. They will get back on their feet in no time."
It's sweet the support that SHAKIRA got from him/ her/ whatever. That kinda support is what we need sometimes :). But do we have to be an idol first to get that? Well,...look around you. You got fans, I am sure :)
I will just continue the browsing around until I have to go to a mall for a get together. Hope you get a great holiday :)
Khotbaher and Khotbahees
Kemaren ada buka bersama di kantor gw. Kita semua kumpul jam setengah enaman and dengerin acara mulai dari pembukaan, sambutan kepala cabang, pembacaan ayat2 suci Al-Quran and terjemahannya and terus dilanjutin sama ceramah.
Ceramahnya si standard sesi2 siraman rohani Indonesia lah. Waktu itu topiknya IKHLAS. Si Khotbaher cerita tentang keikhlasan seseorang yang namanya gw lupa. Di kisah itu, dia tinggal di Jaka. Suatu hari, tiba2 dia inget gurunya duluuuuuuuuu banget. Dia pingin nyamperin itu guru untuk tau kabarnya. Dia waktu itu bawa makanan yang sedikit doang tapi ikhlas banget niat ngasi ke guru itu. Dibawalah makanan itu jauh2 ke BEKASI. Sampe di rumah gurunya, dia kasi lah makanan itu and bilang kangen and cuma bisa ngebawa makanan itu buat si guru. Itu gur denger kalimat itu jadi terharu and menghargai banget usaha si murid yang ngebawa even cuma makanan yang biasa jauh2 sampe ke BEKASI. Akhrinya si guru tanyalah ke istrinya.
"Say,..ada apa di belakang?"
Istrinya menjawab:
"Cuma ada kambing, honey."
"Bawa kambingnya kesini, say. Kita kasiin ke murid kita. Dia uda ikhlas banget jauh2 bawain makanan ini dari Jakarta ke Bekasi. Gih kasiin kambing itu ke dia."
Dan pulanglah si murid membawa kambing jauhg2 dari Bekasi ke Jakarta. Sian banget ya kambingnya.
Anw,...di tengah jalan dia ketemu serigala. Wait,...wait,...itu kan RED RIDING HOOD, ya. Salah cerita gw. Repeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaat.
Anw,...di tengah jalan dia ketemu temennya. Si Khotbaher bilang temennay itu namanya Ali. Weeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiitsssss. Temen2 kantor gw pada ketawa and ngeliat gw. And suddenly gw ngerasa gw adalah THE RIGHT MAN IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME....FOR A JOKE. Kakakakakakakakakak. Trus trus trus,...tanyalah si Ali ke murid:
"Maaaan,..lucu banget kambingnya. Gemes! Gemes! Gemes! Cubiiiiit! Dapet dari mana lo?"
"Panjat pinang!"
"Serius lo????? Kambing segede gini digantung di pinang?"
"Geblek juga lo percaya! Gw dapet dari guru gw dulu di Bekasi. Jadi gini ceritanya,...gw lag nge-Blog and nulis soal masa2 SMA gw and tiba2 gw inget guru gw. Gw samperin lah jauh2 ke Bekasi. Nah,...waktu itu di rumah gw ada makanan dikit. Gw bawa lah itu makanan buat guru gw. Eeeeeh,....tau2 gw balik2 dikasi kambing. Apa guru gw tau kalo gw belum kawin, yak???"
"OOOO...fetish lo kambing?"
"Puasa, man! Puasa! Sini gw bisikin..."iye!""
"Hebat!!!"
"Anw,...gw harus balik. Sian ni kambing dari Bekasi On Foot gini."
"Tapi kan kakinya banyak, man! Ga capek kan. Beban dua kaki dibagi empat."
"Lo mau ngebahas kaki kambing?"
"Nggak."
"Ya uda,..gw balik. Kiss byeeeeeeeeeee."
Si murid meninggalkan Ali yang ternyata satu almamater dulu. Akhirnya dia mikir2...
"Makanan sedikit dapet kambing. Waaaaaaah,....kalo gw bawa makanan yang lebih banyak, mesti gw dapet sapi. A-haaaaaaaaaaa!!!! (lampu2 pada idup di sekitarnya--postingan ini terselenggara atas kerja sama Je dengan PLN). Gw tau! gw bawa duren, ah. Kalo gw bawa buah itu,...mesti gw dapet sapi!!!! (Fetishnya si Ali).
Jalanlah si Ali ngegendog duren kemana2 sampe Bekasi. ketemulah dia sama di Guru.
"Yo,...teacher...wazzuuuuuuuuuuup!"
Setelah cipika cipiki cipingah,....si guru bilang ke istrinya:
"Sweety blackberry,...ada apa di belakang buat si Ali?"
"Gak ada apa2, hubby. Cuma makanan dari si murid kita tadi."
"Ya uda,...kasi aj deh buat si Ali. Sian dia uda jauh2 dari Jakarta ke Bekasi. Anw,...hari ini uda dua lo yang dateng ke kita. Gw jadi curiga. Lo nulis status apa di FB emangnya?"
SI istri ketawa genit. Hihihihihihihi. trus si istri nowel2 si guru. Si guru bilang:
"Genit! Lagi puasa!"
"Ya uda,...kasi ni makannya ke si Ali."
Si Ali diaksi bingkisan dan pergi dari rumah. Dia buka lah bingkisan itu.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah cuma singkog ternyata. Ini mah seperti peribahasa: bagai burung Ali merindukan Sapi!!!! Tapi malah dapet singkong. Nasiiiiiiiiiiiib."
Pelajaran moral hari ini adalah,...
1. Apa yang kita bawa kadang tidak berbanding lurus dengan apa yang kita dapat.
2. Kalo mau ke Bekasi dari Jakarta mbok ya naek angkot.
3. Ihklas lah terhadap apa saja dalam hidup ini. Kayak ikhlasnya nama gw dipake jadi tokoh protagonis di cerita Si Khotbaher di atas.
4. Jangan percaya semua tulisan gw. Gw kan suka ngelebih2in,...EXAGERRATTING IS AN ART--MY BELIEVE :)
