"When you are old, you tend to avoid problems." My senior said.
Being young(er) I disagree completely to that kind of attitude in a work place. But then again,I think there was something wrong with the description of the word "problems". I was blamed, though when I wanted to replace the word with another word--challenge. And suddenly, I felt like I was the public enemy.

What's with that? Did I misinterpret a PROBLEM Challenge? I still believe that I didn't. You can call me hard-headed--I know someone who would, and I know that they are right. You can call me anything, as a matter of fact. My space for ego is spacious, you know.

One thing that makes me still believe in myself is... I have the data to support what I believe in. Maybe the others are too busy enjoying that comfort sofa of theirs and too busy with themselves to bother understanding what I said.

I am just disappointed with people right now. And I am looking for a new toy--an old one, actually, but I haven't played with it seriously for quite some times...FACEBOOK.

Seriously,..what is a friend to you?
Well,..I am not sure about the answer. But I do know what a friend is not!
1. A not-friend is someone that just don't see your the importance of things you consider important.
Often times I just do not need someone to agree with all the decisions that I make and all the things I say. I do not need a friend to agree with me. I need someone who sees the importance of my views and feelings. If you disagree with me, but still want to be my friend, then just see how some things matter to me the most! Is that hard to do? It is not that hard to me. If you think that it is hard,..then you are already NOT my friend.

2. A not-friend thinks that his or her opinions are just as important as mine when I am upset. If you think that I should hear your opinions after I got all mad and almost put myself to jail for killing the person that i hate at a moment by telling me your valuable opinions, you will be on my NOT-FRIEND LIST. You opinions matter after I am calm and realize the situations better!

This is the mad-Je writing. We can be friends again later when I am not mad. Meanwhile,...stay away form me. Take it from others,..you do not want to hear, see and feel me barking!

Sickness--You

1. Headache--When you are watching a 3D movie but you think that you haven't put your 3D glasses while you actually have!!!

2. Diarrhea--When you realize that you have "more" that you thought you did.

3. Asthma--When you ask yourselves whether or not you have paid your air tax.

4. Stomachache--When you think you got all the spaghettis in the world tangled up inside.

5. Runny nose--When you kiss someone but that person seems odorless.

6. Sprained ankle--When you feel like tap-dancing.

7. Gastritis--When you feel slimmer that you keep on "measuring" your waist.

So,..how do you feel tonight?

I was in a middle of a deadline to meet. This task I am working on requires me to get online and searh for resources. I come across this one site that got me thinking. It's not the content. It's not the layout. It's the slogan that this website has. Click here, please. Thank you.


This website carries the slogan "The sky's the limit." For a motivational work, this tag line if often used, I believe. But let's get logical (Gee,..when was the last time I got like that? Have I ever?). Are you sure that the sky is the limit? Are you sure that the sky IS INDEED the limit? I am not!


You see, in the world I was raised, I WAS trained to believe that everything IS possible. But when I grew up, I got the bad news. I believe that you gotta know when to stop. Not giving up, but just know when to stop.


Let's talk about work. There are many reasons for us to stop doing things at work.


1. We know that things we want are impossible to get because of political reasons. This is hard. We are forced to see that our efforts are blocked due to circumstances that are just outside our reach. What do I usually do when I experience this? Well,..in my HP-210 there is a folder named "Plans for my department". It contains recipes. Off course not, you fool :). It contains some files I will do later if I am already able to reach certain political barriers.


2. We may stop doing things simply because actually we do not have to do it. I consider that my body consists of 3/4 water, 1/3 fat, 2/8 muscle and 4/4 initiatives (Don't get bother with the fraction. I am a mutant.) Most of the jobs I take are not in my responsibilities (blah blah blah). So, when something happens along the way, I won't feel guilty  if I stop.


3. Do you do creative job or route work? For the first, well, there are many other sub reasons to stop. Some people say that ideas come and go. Some others say that ideas come, catch 'em, lock 'em up and never let 'em go. But come on guys, let's be demotivated. Ideas come, ideas go! That's it. Once it goes, it's a a sign to stop for a while and turn to your cigarette and blog, maybe?


4. How about your strength? Well, when I am not involved in an urgent matter, and my body strength was pulled down by gravity, I would turn to seek refuge bending my body horizontally.


So, guys, let's be demotivated for a once. Let's just stop. For it is easy to do.

G tau ya elo gimana, cuman kalo ada lagu yang enaaaak banget buat didengerin and daleeeeem banget artinya, biasanya gw langsung ngebayangin gw itu penyanyinya and lagi dishoot untuk video clip. Naaaah,...ganti2 dong berarti konsep and setting video clipnya. Sekarang gini deh. Kita ambil contoh lagu. Mmmm lagunya sapa ya? Let's take Adam Lambert's For Your Entertainment as an example. Uda pernah liat videonya? Kalo belum, liat dulu
DISINI.
Nah, kalo uda nonton, sekarang baca gimana gw ngebayangin videonya versi gw.

1. Gw ngebayangin gw KURUS. OK? Kata 'KURUS' sengaja gw omongin dua kali and gw pake huruf gede soalnya itu adalah elemen terpenting dari bayangan gw. OK?
2. Gw ngebayangin pake leather sama kayak si Bert. And ada di club juga sama kayak si Bert.
3. Yang beda adalah, gw ngebayangin di club itu ada panggung yang diatasnya ada kubik yang lumayan tinggi tapi sempit and panjang ke belakang. Warna kubuiknya putih semua sementara dandanan gw n penari2 latarnya gothic abeeeees. Jadi kebayang papan catur. Kakakakakakak. Dan di dalem kubik itulah gw n beberapa penari latar berakasi. Kakakakakak.
4. Gaya ngedance gw ada yang sama tapi lebih banyak yang beda dari dia. Yang beda contohnya, ada adegan dimana gw nyanyi tapi dibelakang and gw berusaha banget untuk tampil ke depan tapi dihalang2in sama para penari latar. Akhirnya pas REFF nya, gw berhasil tampil ke depan and mendominasi panggung. Kakakakakak.
5. Terus kalo lo perhatiin banget2,..ada suara yang mirip pecut disetiap penanda beat lagu itu, kan? Nah, itu pecut yang bawa gua. Import langsung dari sawah yang ada kebonya di India, man!!! Mahaaaaaaaaaal!!!! Kakakakakak.

Nah, lagu kedua yang gw kebayang yang lokal punya nih. Punyanya PETERPAN yang SALLY SENDIRI.
Kalo denger lagu ini, yang ada di otak gw kalo gw jadi model video klipnya adalah sebagai berikut....ehm,...ehm,....:

Gw jadi si ariel yang lagi duduk stress megangin kepala sementara kedua siku gw di meja. Pas lagunya mulai kata2, kepala gw nengadah pelan2 and mandangin sekeliling ruangan gw yang di dindingnya isinya beberapa foto cowooook semua. Terus perlahan-lahan gw maju and deketin satu foto. Pas gw uda deket foto itu, gw robek pelan2. Terus gw deketin satu foto lagi and ngelakuin hal yang sama. Sampe ada satu foto yang gw kasi tanda silang gede banget pas di mukanya. Terus gw deketin satu foto lagi dan pelan2 kamera nyuting tangan gw yang ngerogoh sesuatu di kantong yang ternyata SWISS KNIFE. Terus gw arahin itu pisau ke foto si cowok and gw gores pelan2. Di foto berikutnya ngegoresnya gw lebih kasar. Dan gw ngehancurin semua foto di ruangan itu sampe lagu kelar. Tau2 gw dapet sms dari Sally yang isinya:

"Gw gagal lagi. Dia meninggal lagi."
Dan balesan gw:
"Wana meet up and talk?"

Uda lama gw g nonton DVD. Tadi sore gw nonton DVD yang judulnya BLACKOUT. Tapi di postingan ini gw g bakal ngebahas film yang bagus banget soal tiga orang yang terperangakap di lift yang mati di sebuah apartemen yang sepi banget and akhirnya ada konflik yang jalannya tu bagus banget sampe bikin gw demen nontonnya. Tapi kan gw uda janji g ngebahas. Jadi ya uda g gw bahas.

Anw,..gw si ngeh uda lama, cuman pagi ini gw ngeh lagi n ngerasa pingin ngajak elo2 semua bersyukur atas kelengkapan indera2 kita. Film itu termasuk salah satu film yang ada petunjuk buat penonton yang kurang sempurna pendengarannya. Elo tau kan, yang kalo opening ada musiknya, terus ada tulisan misalnya "techno music playing". Ato pas ada suara orang nangis terus ada tulisan "sobbing sound".

Tadi pagi gw coba nutup telinga gw n tetep ngeliat film itu. Gw bener2 coba ngerasain jadi orang yang harus berusaha menerima kenyataan hidup yang kayak gitu. Beberapa saat gw lepas tangan n nyerah. Tapi gw pikir gw harus bisa numbuhin empathy gw and gw coba lagi selama 15 menit. Terus pas gw buka telinga, gw ngucapin "ALHAMDULILLAH".
Now, eventhough you may not have time and curiosity to do that, just say "ALHAMDULILLAH" after reading this post for hearing is valuable.

I am in the business where I have to be nice to get things done. I don't always follow that unanimous consent. I do get angry sometimes to those who deserve it. Although someone says that I am too sweet even when I'm angry.

This evening I got several emails asking for my eyes and fingers. But I could not help it not to include my heart. She was telling me the hardship of being angry at, being considered bad for not enough reasons at all, being treated rude--she shouldn't have been, really, being labelled, all by one person considering herself as an authoritative power. Now I am mad and really want to shout at her saying:


I would wana lose myself like that, but referring to the first sentence of this post, I will have to refine my words.
Let me tell you how it happened:

I was in charge of a program that eventually sending people to several places to meet their mentors. What is a mentor? Well,...according to Agam (2010), a mentor is someone who cares enough in a very positive way to bring out the best in their mentees. There is one mentor that thinks she was superb!!! Well,..think again!
She used sarcastic words to her mentee that caused traumatic experience to her and of course her friends--words are spread out. Let alone I am writing this on my blog :).

That mentor has been infamous for being herself!!!! I began to wonder what happened with her in the past. But then again, I wouldn't care at all!!! She said bad things to her mentee that sounded like a villain in Indonesian sinetrons. Now, ...this is NOT the first time. I have tried with all my might not to let this happen again. I failed this time, though. I was not in a place not to assign her.

We have this very good information seeking that we believe will help us in our works. With the self-image we carry--real or not--people come to us to tell stories. And we have another information seeking methods to crosscheck what happened. I do feel that I do not need to do crosschecking on this one, but professionally I had and will do it again.

My plan was when all the data I got is complete, I will come to her and show her everything. Not that she doesn't know her problems. Oh, she does!!!! And she had better be knowing those!!!! It's just that she keeps doing it again and again. Now that's wat I call one of the 7 habits of wateverictive people. Back to my plan, I will compile all the data and show her what happened from other people's point of view. Will it work? Seriously, I am fed up with all this.

However, the victim in this matter asked me not to tell her that. As a friend, I wouldn't coz I understand how she feels. But, sorry, as a professional, I have to and I will!!!!!


Last but not least, I wish I can say this right in front of her face:
"IF YOU CANNOT BE NICE TO THEM, JUST REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE PAID TO BE!"

Writing all these makes me feel like Marshanda. LOL.

Judul di atas uda jelas banget kan maksudnya? Ini semua gara-gara keajadian yang gw alami akhir-akhir ini.


Ada satu temen yang ngasi tau ke gw sepak terjang seseorang yang gw kenal. Pas gw tau itu, asli gw nggak percaya. Penampilan dan imej yang gw tau dari orang itu bener-bener beda dari sepak terjangnya. Contoh aj,neh,... kalo lo kenal cewek yang lady-like banget, apa ya gampang buat percaya kalo dia itu pemegang sabuk item? Duduk ngangkang aj g pernah, gimana dia mau angkat kaki ke atas buat nendang?


Itu cuma contoh, ya. Yang jelas kejadian serupa uda gw alamin ampir tiga kali akhir-akhir ini. Dan hal itu bener-bener bikin gw mikir tentang kenyataan bahwa sebenernya, elo nggak bisa tau banget soal temen-temen lo. Bisa aj mereka yang keliatannya hebat tapi di kenyataanya nggak ada apa-apanya (kalo yang ini sering banget gw temuin), bisa aj yang casingnya nggak ada yang spesial--malahan ada yang o'on pula, tau-tau dia ke luar negeri karena dapet beasiswa. Kalo ada yang kesannya sayaaaaang banget ama lo, bisa aj dibelakang lo dia naruh lo di list-nya paling bawah, itupun belum tentu dia tulus kan? Bisa saja orang yang sibuk kesana kemari sebenernya nggak ngerjain apa-apa. Bisa saja gw sok bijaksana gini bilang apa ini apa itu, gw nggak tau yang sebenernya.


Dooh,..serius deh,..kita bener-bener nggak bisa nge-claim our knowledge upon others, ya....

Hello there,


Aren't you one of those great people I met in life? The ones who speak less of words worth thousands of inspirations? The ones who care about me more than you are expected? Thank you for that. 
So, how's your day? Does your list get longer? You know, the list of people who are amazed by you and what you have done and do? And you have a certain target, right? That's awesome.


I do have one question, though. Or probably more. How do you manage your time? You seem to have time to share to the whole world. I mean,..you meet a lot of people in a week just to cheer 'em up!! How do you do that? Do you have a social scheduler that turns alert whenever it detects sadness your friend is experiencing? That's a veryyyy nice application.Where did you download it? And the PROGRAMMER must be very extravagant.


Another question...what is the level of the sincerity? Is it always your toppest?Or is it sometimes not? But it always looks like you are giving your best sincerity!!! Seriously,...what happened?


Whatever happened,...you always share what you have with others. Thank you for that.

Who can give the best advice to a chef?---a diner.
Who can give the best advice to a performer?---an audience.
Who can give the best advice to a writer?---a reader.
Who can give the best advice to a boss?---an employer.

I am asking and answering those questions above based on my experience in life--the last three at least since I don't cook for the sake of all stomachs in the world. LOL.

There I was in a team designing a advertisement for a project in my company. I drew this and that--not perfect--I don't have to say. Then I gave the idea to someone who will work his magic turning that sketch to a visually informative add on an high-class newspaper. That easy? The drafting and the transferring messages are, but not the approval.

My boss just gave me a call informing--not asking my opinions--who am I, anw???--that the concept of the add stays the same as the previous one. I asked why...but deep in my heart. It was because I knew for sure that it was useless for me to ask such a question. So,...I guess my friends and I will have to see the same concept of an add for our events next Saturday.

To me the thing got a ot further than that. To me, it's about the trust that people should give to others in doing their job. Otherwise, we just have to do AAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL the things by ourselves.

If I were a person who thinks negatively positive, I would just consider what happened as "another easy money project". Unfortunately, I am not like that at all. I am the kind who would loooooove to make mistakes only to see if something works. But of course I should see whether or not the mistakes concern life and death.

I was disappointed in what happened. I said to myself that if one day I become a superior, I would give more responsible trust to my employees. So,..reading that idea,...would you like to work with me someday? LOL.

So it's March.

I remember back when I was young (ehm,..ehm,..) I always decided a theme for every month of the year. One of the theme I chose in March 2008 was CHARMED MARCH. I listed down things I had to do that month. Out of many things, I remember two:

1. Forgive Salim

Salim was a friend of mine who was very,..I duno. He enjoys arguments a lot. He thrives from them. He lives for them. He would come up to a friend and would start a question like:
"What do you think of the politics these days?"
And before anybody realized it, they were involved in life and death arguments as if there were no tomorrow or classes to attend.

Once he said something rude about my being an arabian. Now, those times were the times when I--just like other teenagers--questioned my being. I had always been an Arabian and that had always been fine until,...I realized that being an Arabian meant being different.

Often times I got upset when people ID me as an Arabian. Hehehe. That very Salim mocked my race once in front of my face. I went fused!!!! And we got into a debate and later a fight about it. Salim got me, alright. O yes, he did push a button.

Then I decided to stay away from him. Why would I stay close? Somehow, I believe he would need me more than I needed him. And I was right. The English tests moment came :).

And so he was trying to sit next to me and I surely was up in the air about the situation. I decided that I talk to him and tell him what had happened from my Arabian eyes. I preached him about life as if I were waaaaaaaaaaay older than him. When he wanted to cut in, I stopped them and continued talking. I got him alright. But after that, I became his Arabian friend again :).

2. Self-appreciation

The second thing during the CHARMED MARCH was my effort to earn my own money giving private lessons to a man who was muuuuuuuuuuuuch older than I was. It was a big step and I made it, I think. I got paid for Rp. 2.500 per hour. And when my payday came, I asked my sister to accompany me to Pasar Ungaran to buy,....GORENGAN. LOL.


Now, I have been thinking, should I use CHARMED as the adjective for my MARCH this year?
:)

Dear you,







Every time I try to be in contact with you, I always start with this great reminders of feeling. I can’t get rid of your pearly white teeth. You show no fear of showing them to the whole world. Why should you anyway? They are magical. In a way that they make people lost. And how about the blush on both of your cheeks? They are defined as a new colour in the spectrum. And the feelings you bring up just by being yourslef,...they steal words.


And then I started rekindling the great past. They outnumbered the bad ones. And then I said I miss you. And you laughed. And I said I got the message. And you went mad and said that I was misunderstood. There were countless failures of my effort in understanding you now. Either you were getting complicated or I just lost my ability in several battles of wining you over those pricks.


I resort to the last one. I have always been the not confident one. I blame myself coz it’s easier that way. Coz I got used to it. Coz you are the perfect one in my eyes. I changed glasses, indeed. But I don’t change my eyes! They are the same pair seeing you the greatest ever.


But what do they mean tonight? They mean nothing coz my unreturned “I miss you.”


Was it because of that thing? That thing that you said destroyed you? Had I begged for you to suffer from amnesia on that one, would you? Coz I banged my head on that very wall and I tired myself of that road that night I walked. All I want from you is the impossible. That you see me through your eyes like I see you through mine.


And once again:


I changed glasses, indeed. But I don’t change my eyes.






Yours,...once

I was in a one hell of a conversation with a friend and suddenly this question popped up in my head.

I was in a car with a very nice driver and two experienced friends. We were talking about how people suffer in this world in their own ways. There was a case happening to my sister that I think exceeded her and my standard of suffering. However, two of my friends said that was nothing compared to what had happened to them. What I dislike about what happened was the standard they set to measure what happened to me and my sister. Well,...in my opinion, we can't do that. A case should be seen from various angels that are suitable. I mean,..let's put it this way,...

A friend told you that he is busy. How would you respond:
a. OMG, you must be tired.
b. OK
c. You call yourself busy??? Look at the President!!! He wakes up early and bla,..bli,...blu...

Look,...no doubt that you might be super busy. But I was talking in a certain context. And I ain't no mean the president. A bit disappointed on what happened.

So, now do I have to make sure that things I say match THEIR standards? Well,...maybe in several years I can talk about things freely to you guys. For now,..I am seeking refugee to those who would listen to certain things without demands.

Thanks anyway for anything.

Postingan ini cliche and pendek banget seh...

Jadi gini ceritanya. Malem ini gw ngeilat sebuah perselingkuhan di depan mata gw. Uda gt yang bisa gw lakuin cuma nyindir2 doang and gw g tau yang gw sindir kerasa pa gak (Padahal kan gw punya this nyindiring ability yang akut!!!)

Akhirnya gw cuman bisa diem secara ge sendiri adalah seorang masochist lover :(. Hope it never happens to you guys....

Can I just steal time? I mean,..perhaps like only a month or two for myself? Hope that I can...

This is a habit of mine yang gw jamin g banyak yang tau. Setiap kali gw mau tidur,...gw mesti meluk guling kenceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeng banget kayak gak mau ada orang laen yang ngambil guling itu and terus ngebayangin yang nggak2. Kakakakakak. Uda sekitar tiga minggu ini gw ngebayangin sebuah cerita tentang satu cowok pendiam and sarcastic abis komen2nya yang entah kenapa harus jalan bareng satu anak kecil cewek yang annoyiiiiing banget. Di sepanjang perjalanan itu mereka dia bener2 ke annoyed (doooh bahasa gw) sama pertanyaan2 si anak kecil itu. Anda jalannya itu puuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaanjaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang banget. Makan ati banget deh...sampe akhirnya gw bete sendiri and jadi cepet tidur. Kakakakakak.

It's all about points of view.

Gw setuju banget sama kalimat ini. Prinsp diatas bisa dipake dalam segala macem keadaan kehidupan kita. Tapi apa iya? Iya lah! Berbagai macam hal bisa keliatan beda cuma dari cara kita mandangnya kan? Ini bukti sederhananya. Liat foto dibawah ini:



Kalo harus ngedeskripsiin foto diatas, gw bisa bilang kalo foto itu adalah foto seorang cowok yang lagi maen2 sama sumpitny. Mungkin dia lagi nunggu masakan Jepang pesenannya dateng kali ya. Nah,...trus coba liat foto dibawah ini.




Apa yang keliatan? Cowok itu lagi keliatan sediiih banget karena dipenjara. Nyesel kali ya atas semua kesalahan2 hidupnya dulu. But wait,...sebenarnya tiang kuning itu kan si sumpit yang tadi dia pake buat maen2. See??? It IS all about points of view :)

       The question I use as the title of this post came to my mind after reflecting on what I did. Let me use an analogy of another job.




       Say,...I am a customer service officer (sorry if some parties object to my analogy. LOL). There is this customer that needs to be satisfied. He asked me a loooot of questions on my company's product. According to the Standard Operating Procedures, I have to show him A-Z about our product. And I did.




       Then came a moment when he asked me to compare my products with that of others. I did, too. I read the product specs. However, he was not really satisfied. He needed to see things written. He needed that for his Boss. And so I prepared an excel file to compare say...5 products. Yet the things to compare were numerous. I did that, anyway. I even decided to beautify the file with charts of very nice colors...which he thanked me for. He told me that he should have a presentation in front of his Boss. I offered him slides to help him promote my company's product better. He said YES! (Well,...of course!) There I was spending a sleepless night for the slides. Well,...I stayed awake partly due to my high standard of power point files, too. I did not want to end up like my fellow CSO who ruined the whole presentation simply because of wrong animations.




       And so the D-day came. I called to inform him about the ready-to-present power point files. Suddenly he went not sure of presenting other's ideas and thoughts. He asked me to do it in front of his Boss instead. I thought to myself,...I aim at sales. And the more I got involved, the better the results will be. I told my Boss about it and my Boss said:




       "Don't you think it is too much? I know that you aim at sales, but don;t you have your subordinates to do that? And go back again to my first question, don't you think it is too much?"




       Now,...why did I get the feeling that my eyes were widely opened by that question? I went the extra miles, I know. And that is good, I know. Or,...is it? Was I really too much? My Boss did ask me to recall the previous agreement. And my Boss was right when she said that there were no excel files, colored ones, ppt files and direct presentation needed. My sales will still meet the required one, anyway. So why did I do all those things? That is too much. But still I asked a question to myself until tis very second I am typing all these.






       HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?